I'm really nasty but ik how to clean up good 😊

I can't wait to get married, ima clean her up really good

I want to get married and live with my wife, that's what I really want

-btch how u gon do that and you ain't gotta dollar to your name?

Ima find a way


Hey Google who is the longest living man in jail

Allah is enough

Allah is going to make that man walk again


I worship Allah alone with no partners


May Allah bless Mohammed Hoblos

I like to paraphrase a lot, it is easier for me


Insha'allah when I get married soon there's a lot that I'm going to have to learn

When me and my wife is having sex I cannot be foul and rude to her


no, I cannot be saying things like that. In Islam there is no foullness or vulgarity while a husband and wife are having intercourse

The only girls that I've ever really had sex with were not very chaste, and they encouraged and condoned that type of behavior, they liked it

This woman is going to be my wife, she knows the name of Allah, I can't be like "YOU'RE A DIRTY WHORE ALL YOU WANT IS DICK!"

No, I have to gently stroke her hair back as I give her deep penetration and look her in her eyes and say "I love you"


no, and then Ima bury my face in her chest and ejaculate!

I love my father, I think that he is very compassionate and kind, I would never ever wish any bad on him, may Allah give him a long life full of happiness

My father has done things to me that cannot even be mentioned, but nonetheless, he is my father and I love him

My father Ibrahim AS supplicated to Allah many times for Him to forgive his father Aazr, but Allah told him that his father Aazr was destined to go to hellfire forever, so he had to stop

But Allah has not told me anything about my father, I supplicate for him every morning and day, and Allah has not told me to stop so this must mean

HE STILL HAS A CHANCE! My father can go to paradise Insha'llah. I will continue to pray for him so that Allah May forgive him and guide him

But it is only Allah Who can guide

IT'S THIS BTCH SALAMATU TUNKARA THAT I HATE! I don't even know her, she is not related to me in ANY WAY. Idk her parents. This btch ugly and SHE STINKS!

12:30am in the morning she gon come to my room butt ass naked with nothing but her underwear on. DF!!?


But don't take her life Ya Allah

It's not revelation because, it is only revealed to me and it's not 100%, sometimes it's wrong, sometimes it's right. And I don't have to share it with anyone else, in fact i should only keep it to myself

I only publicize some because I want you all to know that Allah truly exists with no partners

That's all I want you to know, God is real

He's really real 😢

May Allah forgive me

My only purpose for existence is to establish Deen in myself and Deen on the rest of the world. Imagine if everybody in the world was Muslim? 😊

*Islam- The Worldwide Religion*



One day...

I'm over here complaining about living here with my dad when I should be thanking Allah. I have a place to sleep. I have a place to make Wudu and pray, I have food to eat. I AM GRATEFUL. I LOVE IT HERE!

I listen to nggas like Justin Bieber, Shawn Mendez, The Weeknd. Not on no homo shyt, but because them nggas GET BTCHES!!


I learn from nggas like that


shyt, the angels are watching me and recording me, I have to be on my best behavior This pornstar Moriah Mills gotta fat ass. I was watching one of her videos and was getting dicked in the bathroom,

I wonder when I get married if it will be permissible to have sex with my wife in the bathroom

Idk, all ik is I can't be calling her a "btch and a dirty whore" when I'm being intimate with her

I have to be very gentle with her and I gotta treat her good

Ima tell her str8 up, "I don't know you but I want to, I'm not close to you but I want to be, I don't love you, but I want to"

And that's going to be the truth, I'm not just going to be saying that just to get some ass. I'm so used to lying to girls it's going to feel good when I tell her something and I really mean it

I'm not just going to be lying to her, it will all be the truth

I never want to get a divorce, ima be married to her forever

She's going to be so amazing. I can't wait!

And her pussy not gon stink

The greatest Muezzin to have ever lived was Bilal

I don't like not doing anything for a long period of time, I can be doing something to gain rewards from Allah SWT

so what do I do?

I stand there and do dhikr, I remember Allah while in my stagnant position

I hope that man from the Mosque in the wheelchair is okay, I know that he's probably roller blading or playing basketball now that he's got his legs back

I never look forward or plan for anything in life, the only thing that I look forward to and plan towards is going to Jannah. Everything else in the world is not definite, you can plan to do something and then another thing happens and messes your whole plans up

For example: You can plan to go to the beach on a certain day but then on that day it rains and you don't end up going because of the rain

But "JANNAH" is the promise of Allah, it cannot be derailed

Keep it a bean I just don't want to be a disappointment

I can let everybody else down irdgaf, I just don't want to let my Lord down

He has created me, he has given me all these provisions and gifts. Allah has made me handsome as hell and he has fashioned me and gave me 23 years of life!

WOOW! 23!! Thank you Ya Allah

There is nothing that I can do to prove to God how grateful I am, the only thing that I can do is to take care of this body and life that he has given me and don't be a fuck up in life

There is a purpose that he has created me for, a strong purpose, I just know it

May Allah allow me to die in a state of submission to Him


Boyfriend and girlfriend relationships never work out, Allah has made it forbidden for a reason, you might think it'll work, but no

I do not smoke cigarettes, it's disgusting and it makes your breath stink

Keep it a bean I missed my little brother and sister. I love them nggas frfr. It's their mom that I don't like

I listen to music a lot because it sounds better than what all of you are saying, the only time that I put it off is when I am at the Masjid on Fridays

I was trying to hold my Wudu in until Maghrib time about two hours after Asr, but then the Shaytan came to me and made me yawn and I farted, thus breaking my Wudu.

Making Wudu is easy, it don't even take one minute fr, it's easy. Allah has made worshipping Him easy

I remember the time that I deficated myself 😂 cdfupp

I shitted on myself, not once, not twice, but THREE TIMES!

That shit happened last year

Cdfupp 🤣 You get it? "That shit"! Cdfuupppp

Lol but let me tell you what happened

I shitted myself three times, on three separate occasions, it all occurred in a span of seven days

The first time I was leaving from picking up my glasses and I was walking to a certain location to take the bus and go home. But then outta nowhere I had to use the toilet. The only bathroom was a nearby health center a few blocks away, I headed for it, and I made it. But NOT before that shit came out

The second time I was under the train tracks somewhere smoking weed, as I lit the blunt and put it up against my lip it came. That shyt just came outta nowhere, I definitely did not want to shit myself, I was under the tunnel somewhere, no one was there, I had to make a move before that shyt came out and I soil my pants and take that stinky walk home, so what did I do? I pulled my pants down and went right there in the corner

The third time I was sitting down on a bench somewhere smoking weed, not too far from home. The urge came, I was pressed, I had to goo! 😣

So I ended up deficating myself and messed up my nice pants and draws. I walked home mad fast, since it wasn't that far of a distance. I took the walk home and when I got there I immediately went to the bathroom, took off all my clothes and put it with the dirty clothes and hopped in the shower. After I was done I took a brush and scrubbed that entire bathroom!

This all happened within one week. Why did it happen? I think I might know

The previous week I got into an altercation with my father, he did something to me and I got really angry. So I went up to him, pushed him and started yelling "FUCK YOU FUCK YOU!"

Offending your parents in any way is one of the major sins. In which Allah will punish you in this Dunya before you get to the hereafter

That is the reason why. Allah don't play. If He says He will then He definitely will!


Whenever I'm getting head I like to talk to the girl and cheer her on

"I love you baby. Suck this dck good for daddy okay. You're doing so good baby I love you so much. You sucking this dck good bae u finna get all this nut

And when I'm killing it from the back I expect the same thing in return. Tell me how good I'm doing, let me know how big my dck is, I mean I already know but still let a ngga know, it's good to hear it sometimes


And if I'm having a threesome a peer review evaluation will suffice

I saw this one Muslim girl in the cafeteria she was soo bad omgg, I wanted to go right at her, but her Waliyy wasn't there and plus I'm waiting for my teacher Shaykh Sayf to get me married to a girl at that Mosque, insha'llah!

FUCK! I wanna go back and get her

I love her

I want her. Ima be thinking about her all day

Nggas be gay they be like "You've come such a long way I'm so proud of you 😯"

Faggot 😑

Don't come to me with that gay shyt

I was just bouta get up and do a nafl prayer but then I remembered that I had farted earlier

I just farted again

Don't ever try to argue with a Non-Muslim, just tell them "Allah is the only God and Islam is the truth"

And then just 🤐. That is the truth, they can choose to accept it or not. If they do then they will be rewarded accordingly, if they don't then...


Hastiness is from the Devil, you should never rush to do anything, except to do a good deed for the sake of Allah

Tax is not Haram in Islam, I do not know.

I wish somebody would run up on me

I'm so ready

I'm so deadly

I smoke heavy

I'm just high

This ngga Judge Mathis sounds gay af 😣

That ngga a suspect 😐

It's not permissible for Muslims to talk behind other people's backs

To talk behind other Muslim members their backs!

So I am not sinning

Because Judge Mathis not Muslim

-how do you know? He could have accepted Islam



You only see that in Christian or Jewish surroundings

"72 year old Church Pastor caught with 10 year old girl"

"Pastor's son publicly admits his homosexuality"

Smh... it shows how sick and twisted you people are

NEVER will you see that in a Muslim community

You fuckers are sick


I can't wait to go to the House of my Lord and supplicate to Him and ask Him to destroy everyone who clings to the idea of me being gay! I'M GOING TO ASK HIM TO DESTROY EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU!!

Having bad suspicions is sinful in Islam, and no one even asked me!

Allah knows best how I feel

Allah is Mujeeb

He's quick to respond!

That's part of the reason why I turn to Him for everything. Because if I have a problem right now now now He can fix it right now now now!

Hahaha! FEAR ALLAH!!

Allah is Powerful nonetheless. His Mercy supersedes His Anger.

I will never ever ask Him to bring death upon anybody. No matter how much that person may have hurt me

Because you might make the supplication at a time when Allah answers supplication and your Dua might end up being answered by Allah SWT

You might wake up in the middle of the night and remember how during the day at Dhuhr time how somebody made you angry and you immediately start making Dua against them and ask Allah to kill them

You didn't remember that you had to make up your prayers though, smhh

How weak and feeble minded we can be

Make it an implication rather than a request

This morning when I finished smoking my marijuana and I went to the bus stop and sat down and began to wait for the bus. This lady approached and she had a luggage that she was carrying and she appeared to be struggling with it, I could tell. So she sat down and in about ten minutes the bus arrived, I looked at her and said "I'm going to help you with your luggage okay"

And she looked at me and smiled 😊 and said "ok thank you"

So now let's analyze the situation. What happened?

I made it into an implication rather than a request

I said: I'm going to help you with your luggage"

I could have said: "May I please help you with your luggage?" And make it into a request

But I knew she was going to struggle with it, and I didn't want her to tell me no

She needed my help and goddamit she was going to get it

The same applies when I'm having sex

I never ask.

It's hot as shit



Insha'llah Shaykh Sayf will be there today

So he can help me get married and I can get a beautiful Muslim wife and marry her and cultivate my seed and increase the Muslim population

-May Allah bless you! Thank you

Tis for the sake of Allah, my reward is with Him in Jannah Tul Firdos

I have a good feeling about today

Also I have to go pray and supplicate and ask my Lord to make everybody who had suspicions of me being a homosexual catch chlamydia and breast cancer

I have never been so ashamed and humiliated

Mfs dishonored me and made me feel so low

Allah knows best how I feel

I pray...

Yesterday at school when I went to the cafeteria to buy some food I told the guy to make me a turkey bacon egg and cheese sandwich

He then asked me what kind of bread I wanted. I told him to put it in a bagel, but I knew people was starring at me so I told him "actually no matterfact can you put it into a roll please"

Smhh... I'm going to make strong supplication, I will ask my Lord to protect me from the people and kill everyone who had wrong suspicions of me

I'm going to ask Him to make you all get herpes on your top lip

I'm going to ask Him to make all of you fall down the steps and break your leg

I'm going to ask Him to make you all catch breast cancer and DIE!

those of you who thought I was homosexual

As for the ones who knew better and did not suspect anything I will ask Him to bless you and give you long life



Sike naww

I won't ask Him to do that

If you had suspicions of me being gay I will just ask Him to guide you to the truth and guide you towards Islam

I will never wish death upon anybody. In order for me to wish bad on you then you have to do something really really bad to me

Your suspicions is a product from your surroundings and culture

You live in a country where homosexuality is a norm, so if you see someone like me you might immediately think "he's gay"

Now even though your thoughts are wrong and the farthest from the truth they are nonetheless, just thoughts

Allah doesn't punish you for what goes on in your head, you are not held accountable

So if God doesn't punish you for that then how can I get mad for that and ask you to die?

And I am still okay. No one has harmed me physically or said anything bad to me

If that happens, if some gay mf try to talk to me or somebody try to run up on me then and only then will I ask my Lord for help

And He is the best of helpers

When Prophet Lut AS was ordered to go to the city of Sodom the entire city was filled with gay people

But he didn't supplicate to Allah and ask Him to destroy them simply because they were gay, no

He supplicated for them and asked Allah to guide them

It was only when they tried to break into his house and harm him and his guests that he asked Allah for help

And Allah dealt with them in a mighty way! Allah SWT killed every single one of them and turned that whole entire city upside down, I think now it's the dead sea, idk

I'm going to pray to my Lord and ask Him to guide and to bless every single one of you

You should avoid having bad suspicions about anyone, because you do not know

Allah Knows, while you know not

And nobody even bothered to ask me

I can understand if somebody came up to me and asked me "hey r u homo?"

I would politely answer "no" and then I would tell them that I am just a pious slave of God


Nggas just went off their suspicions. And it was wrong. YOUR SUSPICIONS WERE WRONG!

May Allah punish that gay dude that sat next to me on the trolley that sat next to me on the trolley a few weeks ago playing with his phone n shyt thinking I'm gay and thought that I was gonna try to talk to him

All them open seats in the trolley he just had to sit next to me

That ngga actually approached me so I will supplicate against him

Your suspicions are wrong, but You can have them from a distant. It's when you come to me with that gay shyt is when I get mad

If I ever said something that was offencive please forgive me , I do not know any better. If I did then I would not say what I say


Insha'llah I will get married today 😁

Didn't get married today

Maybe it's just not for me ☹

I don't wanna sin...

Maybe I should just fornicate and fulfill my urges in a Haram matter

I don't think he wants to help me 😞

There's a marriage process in Islam. I do not know that process so I was hoping that they could help me out a bit, guess not

Ima get a girlfriend. Her ass gon be fat. I'm finna go fishing!

I'm trying do this the right way but I just don't think it's meant to be

Maybe I have to start off with a Non-Muslim girl

I can fuk her and convert her

Damn I was really looking forward to that too

Talk about being heartbroken 😞

I'm mad as shyt. Df, I know I'm not ugly. I mean I can understand if I was ugly and no girl wanted to marry me, but I'm sexy as shit!

Yet nobody wants me. Right now it's like 10:05pm. I was expecting by now I would've dug up in her guts and rock that hoe to sleep

I mean... my wife, rock my wife to sleep

I'm thinking about that Muslim girl in a black dress and fat butt I saw at the cafeteria in school a couple days ago

She wanted me, and I wanted her. If I see her again. 😚

At the time I saw her I curved her for the sake of Allah, she wanted me to get at her but I didn't, because I thought that today them nggas at the Mosque was gon hook me up, I thought wrong...

Insha'llah I'll see her again and ima marry her, I love her

I hate when I really want something but I can't get it

Like I REALLY WANT A WIFE, I REALLY WANT TO GET MARRIED! But it's not happening, idk why

Keep it a bean the only reason frfr why I want to get married is so that I can have somebody to fuck on and I won't be sinning

It's so easy to find a girl and have sex with her, but that is a sin, I don't wanna sin

I got it! I have to start off with a blasphemer wife. It's permissible for Muslim males to marry Non-Muslim females. You just have to marry her, which I will

Prophet Lut AS he had a blasphemer wife, and many other Prophets had spouses who were not Muslims

I can marry them and maybe after some time spent with me they can see the beauty in Islam. 😁

That's what my purpose in life is: Find Non-Muslim girls, marry them, impregnate them, and convert them

Because it's not going to be possible for you to covert them btches if they aint got your seed

I mean, I guess you could, but it's gon be hard at. If they have my baby first then I can easily coerce that little mf to be Muslim and start praying. And if the wife sees the child and the father praying maybe that will spark her curiosity

Watching porn is a sin, masturbation is a sin, lustful looking is a sin and fornication is among the major sins

But yet, I am a man Ya Allah, how am I supposed to satisfy these urges I have. I don't want to sin😟

I want Jannah Tul Firdos

I complain to You Ya Rabb: I am a weak creation Ya Allah. I cannot control my eyes or my hands and I am always thinking nasty thoughts about the opposite sex. Ya Allah, facilitate for me a way to satisfy these urges of mines. If You do not help me Ya Rabb surely I will sin

Ima get one of these little btches pregnant. They want me, and I want them back. And all they ass be fat. But they be hella fertile though. I put the tip in that hoe end up six months pregnant the next day. BTCH HOW??


I wanna be able to fuck a btch and not have to use contraception

Condoms be in the way. I be trying fill that hoe up, but it be in the way

I reached a point in my life where I'm just like "faack it" next btch I have sex with I'm raw dogging that hoe and ima bust a fat ass nut in her pussy and irdgaf frfr. If that hoe gets pregnant and she puts me on child support then 🤔faaaackk it.

I just gotta marry that btch before I fuck. Should be easy enough. Marriage is easy Right?



Smh, I am so fukked up mentally. I'm over here thinking about how I'm going to lie to all these girls and tell them I love them n shyt for what? Just to get a nut smhh

ThatMuslim girl in the black dress had a fat butt. I mean I wasn't starring cuz she had her Hijab on but when she turned around and started walking to her table I caught a glimpse of that left booty cheek, and the right. Them jawns was moving side to side every stride she took



Insha'llah I'll see her on Monday

Insha'llah she's single

Insha'llah she's a virgin

Insha'llah she's fertile. I wanna get her pregnant quick!

Once a girl has your baby everything changes

Why was this btch so good looking though and why df can't I get her off my head!!

I love her soo much. I just want her to know. I want her to know how I feel about her, I want her to know that she is the most beautiful girl that I've ever seen

I want her lips

I don't even know that hoe name smhh

But I'll know her if I see her. She had long black hair, she had pretty eyes, she was medium height and she had a FAT BUTT!

I don't want to forget her, I'm scared that over the weekend she might get married and when I try to talk to her on Monday she'll tell me that she already found somebody

I just... want her

I love this girl. I know what I'm feeling. This is real love no doubt. I've never felt this way about a girl before. She is the one for me


She done stole my heart. She can have it!

As soon as I see her ima tell her how I feel, ima say: look idk u but I love you and I think you're the most beautiful girl in the world and I want you to be in my life for the rest of my life


The reason why Allah didn't make me get married today is because He knows that it's the girl at the school cafetetia that I really want. Allah is Aleem

I want to go to sleep but she's on my mind

She didn't even have on a black dress I'm tripping, she had on her Hijab and she was dressed in one of those black Muslim clothes that Muslim girls be wearing, and she had on her earphones

She was so baad! I want to put my dck in her and stroke vigorously

I don't want to lose her. I know that she wanted me to talk to her and she got all sexy for me, I just want her to know that I noticed her, and she caught my attention

Girls do not like it when you do not give them attention

I've been thinking about her since I saw her on Wednesday, and she will stay on my mind until I see her again

I wonder if she suck dck?

She prolly do. She a freak. She was chewing gum

Ima turn her out. Ima be like "put my dick in your mouth and suck it bae"

She gon suck it.




Or even better, she could've went with me to the Mosque today and we could have prayed and got married

I want this girl Ya Allah. She is the one that I want. Please Ya Rabb. GIVE HER TO ME

Ima treat her good. Call her up late at night and be like "I know u sleeping baby I didn't wanna wake you up but I just wanted to let you know that I love you I'm always thinking about you"

Ima eat her pussy in random places. In the car. On a beach front. Under the table at red lobsters.

I will never make her sad Ya Allah just please give her to me

Ik she's not mines yet but I want her to be

She was slim but her ass was fat



I blinked Ya Allah. I blinked and I saw that booty cheek Ya Allah

I am so fucking stupid. I am a complete dunce. WHY DF DIDN'T I JUST TALK TO HER?

Please let me see her again Ya Allah

I want to make her my wife. I want her to be the mother of my children. She is the one that I want

I am adamant! I don't want no other girl, just her

I wanna impregnate her

I would stalk her but idk her information. If I like had her name or phone number I could ping that btch and know her whereabouts but I ain't got shit, not her name or anything. I just know her as "Muslim girl in black dress"

Wallahi she may seem like just a random girl but she is somebody special

She is Muslim and she is BEAUTIFUL

She has fulfilled all the required criteria

Gosh she was so sexy beautiful lovely there's not a fukkin word in the dictionary that you can use to depict her

She was a flower rs. That hoe was a mfn lovely flower blowing in the autumn breeze n shyt.

I have never felt this way about a girl before. My feelings are legit!

I love this girl. She is my everything

I don't even wanna fuck her. I wanna make love to this btch, that's how much I love her.

I wanna give her my everything

This btch got me...

How can she have this much effect on me by just a look?

Irdgaf because ik what I'm feeling is real and nobody has ever felt this way before

She is different. She is loyal

I'm thinking about her lips, and how she was sucking on that piece of gum. I was contemplating on walking up to her and putting my tongue in her mouth and taking the gum out, I wonder how she would react?

She gon love it. And after I put my tongue in her throat ima shove this dck down her throat. She gon love it 😊

"suck it good for daddy bae, you sucking it so good I'm finna permeate my semen all in ur mouth bae mhmkay"

She gon be like "okay daddy"


Good morning

I'm thinking about yesterday and how heartbroken I was feeling when I couldn't get married

It seems like they are making marriage seem even more difficult then it should be 😕

If I had a son or a young fellow who was close to me i would want him to get married

"Marriage is a good and happy thing in Islam" and it is

I just can't rely on other people to try and Help me get married. Ima do it on my own

Smh he gon ask me "did you see anybody that you like?"

Umm... no. My eyesight and vision is really bad and I really can't see that well with my glasses off

Idk how she looks. Unless she got up real close to my face

And then he also gon ask me "are you able to pay the mahr? And are you able to take care of her financially?"

Right in front of my other friend who was standing RIGHT THERE NEXT TO ME

He did ask though if it was okay that he could ask me those questions in his presence

I said yeah it's okay, I didn't wanna say "no"

Because if I said that then it would seem like I had something to hide

And no, that ngga that was sitting next to him is a highly righteous Muslim, and he is my brother. There is absolutely nothing for me to hide from him

So I told him "yes" even though I knew in the back of my head I'm not going to be able to, I'm broke as shit. I ain't gon be able to take care of her financially

I have to get settled first. I'm not yet financially stable.

But yet EVEN SO. If I want to get married they should help me out financially until I'm ready.

But nobody's helping me 🙁

I need to get a girlfriend. That girl in the cafeteria that I saw, she needs to be my girl

The Religion of Islam encourages marriage. Muslims worldwide wants to see young Muslims get married. This is a really good thing

But not every Muslim has that mentality though, the Religion of Islam is perfect but the people who follow it are not

Marriage just ain't for me, I'm still pretty young. I need to mess around first a little bit

I'm just feeling really despondent. I've lost all hope.

You know how I feel? I just feel like dying. I feel like just getting high and dying

That's how I feel. Because nobody wants to marry me. I'M UGLY!!

I'm pissed at myself. I'm mad that I couldn't muster up enough courage to talk to that girl in the cafeteria.

I feel like all hope is lost, I don't even wanna get married no more frfr. I just wanna be a hoe and return back to my ways

This is very simple. The mission that I am trying to accomplish is to get married. Why? Because I do not want to fornicate or keep watching porn and masturbating

I am a man, I have sexual needs and desires that can only be fulfilled by the opposite sex

My intention was to get married and fulfill my urges in a Halal manner, but Allah did not allow it. So what does this mean?


I have to get a couple girlfriends and fuck all them btches and ejaculate inside them AND CULTIVATE MY SEEDS!

That is what I have to do.

As you can see, the Devil is whispering thoughts in my head right now

I'm trying to fight them back but this ngga speaking some truth

Marriage is the key yes? YES

I'm not able to get married no? No 😟

So how else am I going to cultivate my seeds and increase the Muslim population for the sake of Allah? I need to get a girlfriend

When I was dating Mercy Umah I wasn't doing this much masturbation

Mercy was taking care of me. Of all my needs

She def knew how to keep her man.

She had me calling her up late at night like "bae where you at?"

And Mercy was hella smart, she knew what I wanted and she would always give it to me.

I'm thinking about that girl that I saw in the cafeteria, I miss her

I wonder if she's thinking about me as much as I'm thinking about her?

Prolly not

I'm finna get so high and forget about my problems!

Forget about how ugly I am

Forget about marriage

Cannabis will soothe the pain

I don't even feel like eating. I don't feel like doing anything, except my prayers

And getting high

May Allah protect me right now as I am not thinking straight

The devil has a hold of me. May Allah loosen his grip

May Allah watch over me today because the way I feel right now... I just don't care about anything

Insha'llah in the future I will have a son who is not as ugly as me and I will help him get married, no. I WILL MAKE HIM GET MARRIED! Because I would want the best for my son

I will find for him a beautiful spouse, I will give him money for the Mahr, and I would even babysit his children Insha'llah.

Not just my son, but any young Muslim there I see who is looking to get married, I will help them, Why?

Because I wouldn't want anybody to feel the way that I feel right now

I'm losing hope in the Mercy of Allah, and I do not like it, it don't even feel right

Allah doesn't want me to sin. He wants for me to get married and be happy. It's just something that I am not doing right

I'm the problem, it's me

I don't want to watch no more Islamic lectures about marriage and all that, because it does not apply to me. I will never get married

I just wanna get high!

-wow, all this because you didn't get married?

Yess! I'm ugly, can't you see 😢

My father even tried to get me married. He showed me a picture of a girl on fb and he told me she is really beautiful and that I should marry her.

Why? Because he is my father and he wants his son to be married and happy, he can see how much I wish to get married and it pains him to see me not being able to.

My father had many wives in the past, and he knows the sweetness of marriage, and he wants his son to have that and be happy! As much of a sinner my father is he still wants happiness for his son

Nobody else wants happiness for me though 😔

It's cool. Ima hold my head

One of the worst feelings is to be a father, and have a righteous son, and the son not being able to get married

I am not a father but even I know that can't feel good

Because my father knows me very well and he knows how I feel.

It's one thing if I am not so righteous. But he sees me, he sees my behaviours and how I act, and he sees me doing all my prayers and calling out to Allah SWT

My father knows that Allah is the only God. He may be a sinner, but he's not stupid. He knows His Lord

And right now ik what he is maybe thinking lol, he's making Dua in his head to Allah like "OH GOD. MY SON CALLS OUT TO YOU DAY AND NIGHT, HE WORSHIPS YOU CONSTANTLY. PLEASE LET HIM GET MARRIED"

When my father wanted me to get married to some girl I told him "no the Shaykh at the Mosque is going to help me get married"

But, that didn't work out

At the end of the day, I am just a hopeless romantic

Hopeless in the sense that my quest to find a wife has not prevailed and now it's just like I don't even wanna try any longer

Romantic in the sense that I have so much love to give, and I wanna give it, but nobody wants it

Nobody wants me 🙁


Insha'llah I'll find that girl in the black dress next week. I'm finna go fishing!

Ik someone is out there for me. Ima find her! And ima marry her, I won't sin!

But even if I do, even if I sin. If I ask for forgiveness my Lord can forgive me

Tis easy for Him

Sometimes it's difficult to do the right thing. But it shouldn't be

I have not fornicated since I have entered into Islam. I haven't even looked lustfully at the opposite sex, why? Because no Prophet ever did that and I was trying to follow their footsteps and be A GOOD PERSON!

You feel me like... I try. I've tried! I can't do it, I'm weak

Fornication is the answer!

I will ask for forgiveness later when I'm done


I'm thinking about all my previous ex's. Mirrah 😍.

I miss Mirrah

Kendra 😚. I miss her

Mercy. She was my favorite

The thing I loved most about her was her spirit. And her lips


All my ex's prolly got somebody else now and they are all happy.


I want that. I want a partner