My mother was fast asleep somewhere in the next room. I haven’t spoken to her since this morning when she dropped me off at school.
“Really?” Christy said.
“Really what?” I replied to her. I tried to play dumb. Maybe if I keep on trying than I would be successful.
“Let me ask you a question Jason, do you take me for a fool?” Christy asked me.
I scoffed at her statement. “Of course not! How could you even think that about me?” I said to her.
“Okay then, stop acting dumb and come back to the subject boy!” Christy said to me in a demanding tone. I could tell that her patience with me was wearing thin.
“I forget!” I said to her.
“What did you forget Jason?” Christy asked me.
My phone started vibrating, and the low battery notification came on. It seems as if my phone’s battery was dying. But how can that be if I was only on the phone with Christy for no more thahalf an hour. I removed the phone from my ears and looked at the time on the phone screen, “10:22pm!!” That made no sense whatsoever! Just 30 minutes ago it was like 5pm. I navigated to the call screen to see the duration of how long I was on the phone with Christy. “3 HOURS 25 MINUTES!” I quickly put the phone back in my ears.
“Yo you know we been on the phone for like three hours thirty minutes.” I said to her.
“Uhh… yeah.” Christy said to me.
“Wow, time sure flies when you on the phone boo loving.” I said.
Christy laughed aloud. “But you ain’t my boo though, and we ain’t loving.” She said.
“Then how do you explain the expansive time duration that we’ve been on the phone for”? I asked her.
“You just love talking to me and you like listening to my voice.” She said.
I thought for a moment. “But you’re fat though, and you stink and got cooties.” I said to her.
Christy bellowed out in laughter. “Cooties though?” She asked me while she was still laughing.
Then quickly she said “Boy don’t try to change the subject, let’s get back to it please. So tell me how you feel about me, even though I think I might already know.” She said.
“Well if you know already then why I gotta tell you?” I asked her.
“Because… I need further assurance, in order to solidify my speculations.” She said.
“Well whatever speculation you may have, or whatever you may think, is true.” I told her.
“Yeah but I want you to say it, plleaasseeee.” Christy said.
Omg, I thought to myself. I like her, I want to be with her, I want her to be mines. But… I don’t want to let her know that, I was scared.
“Okay how about this, you ask me any question and I’ll answer.” I said to her.
Christy became quiet for a minute. “Okay… That’s a start. I much rather you just come out and tell me though, how come you so scared to open up to me Jason?” She asked me.
“NO MOM! I’M ON THE PHONE!” I said aloud again, while lying of course.
Christy snickered aloud. “Okay, I’m finna ask you, you ready?” Christy asked me.
“Yeah bruh!” I said to Christy. Notifying her to commence with the interrogation process.
“Wait, before you start, you only get to ask three questions.” I said to Christy.
“Why only three?” She asked me.
“Because I don’t want you to get carried away.” I said to her.
Christy scoffed and giggled. “Whatever boy! Okay first question:”
I smiled, and waited for her questioning to commence.
Christy paused and thought for a minute. “And you’re gonna be honest right? No lies.” She said.
“Nope! I wouldn’t dare lie to you, I don’t even know how to lie.
Christy scoffed and laughed. “I highly doubt that, but okay!” Christy said to me.
She didn’t say anything for a few seconds. She was doing a lot of heavy contemplation, “Umm… let’s see… Do you really have a girlfriend?” Christy asked me.
Yeah, a couple, I wanted to say. But I had to be truthful with her, no lies!
“Nope. I do not!” I said confidently to her.
“And you’re being honest with me right? No lies?” She asked me.
“No lie no lie no lieee.” I started singing to her.
Christy erupted in laughter. “I hate that song.” She said, while still laughing.
“And the song hates you back!” I said to her.
Christy ignored my comment. “Okay question 2: You ready?” Christy asked me.
“Yeah go ahead.” I said.
“Remember, you can’t lie. You have to be truthful.” Christy said to me.
“Yeah yeah whatever, just ask.” I said to her.
“Okay boy don’t rush me! Let’s see…” Christy said and began to think of a question to ask me.
“Why don’t you have a girlfriend?”She asked me?
Because I’m a womanizer and I have commitment issues. Was what I wanted to say. Even though that was the truth, I can’t let her know that. I have to find another way to rephrase that. I thought for a minute.
“Because… I haven’t found the right girl yet.” I said to her.
“Well what are you looking for in a girl?” She asked me.
“Is that your third and final question?” I asked her.
Christly immediately said “Yeah that’s my final question, what are you looking for in a girl?” Christy asked me.
I didn’t say nothing for a while, I didn’t really know what I wanted in a girl.
“I really don’t know, I just know that she has to be fun and faithful, and she gotta be cute, and she gotta have long hair, and a fat butt, and she gotta know how to cook.” I said to Christy.
She gave a short snicker. “Boy, are you referring to me?” She asked me.
“Nope, no more questions, you only got a total of three.” I reminded Christy.
“This is not part of the questioning though, I’m just asking.” Said Christy.
“Well you’ve already asked too many questions, and I’ve already disclosed far too much with you.” I said to Christy.
“Oh, you don’t like disclosing things with me Jason?” Christy asked me,