My Java programming skills 👌
Kehlani- Alive
“And damn I feel alive.” 🎤😊
👸🏻omg!
Rihanna “PLEASE DON’T STOP THE MUSIC”
Me: -stops music “fuck this shyt I gotta pray Isha”
🙎🏾♂️cddffuupp
I gotta do my push-ups tomorrow morning when I wake up. I didn’t do em today cuz I woke up late af and had to take a shower and do Fajr
Fajr takes precedence over push-ups
Fajr takes precedence over everything
It is the best of the five prayers
Nggas be like “so I can just pray Fajr for the day and not do any other prayer”
Ok... So God can just give you a head and no other limb correct?
Cuz that’s wtf you saying!
Faaack no! You need arms, legs, and all this other shyt right?
Fajr and all the other prayers are the best
God loves consistency!
Praying that God heals my ngga Mark, he got the flu
Keep it a bean Mark ugly as shyt tho
xVideos always knows what I want
They’re my friends
Just found out my manz in jail n shyt
That shyt crazy
All my friends are in jail
“Jail time is a slap on the wrist”
That’s what Wayne said 😂
He funny as shyt cddffuupp
That’s crazy tho
Free my nggas mane!
My Java programming skills could use a little work
“Cum” is not a word?
👸🏻no
“Thought I’d end up with Shawn, but it wasn’t a match 🎧”
Ariana Grande- thank u, next
🙎🏾♂️ you’re gay
👸🏻r u serious? cddffuupp
Fuck both of y’all
Sometimes when you’re angry it’s best to just BE QUIET!
I listen to the same songs everyday and I never get tired of them
“Fuck love that shyt don’t belong here, I wish I knew the devil was so pretty with the long hair”
The devil takes many forms
These pretty girls don’t impress me
The prettiest girls be having the ugliest attitudes
If I ever date a girl like Kehlani I would treat her soooo good!
Why??
Cuz that btch can sing! If I do her dirty she gon fuck around and make a whole album dissing me, that shyt gon go double platinum!
I DONT WANT NOO PARTS!!
It’s always something
If it’s not one thing it’s another
I need some inspiration
SIKE!! God is the only inspiration that I need.
My reward is with Allah in Jannah Tul Firdos Inshallah
🙎🏾♂️say Inshallah bro
I DID!
👸🏻why r u so weird?
How???
I prayed Fajr and forgot about that btch
Jason and Christy stay lying to one another
Wtf kinda relationship do they have?
A healthy relationship’s foundation should primarily be “HONESTY”
That’s the only way shyt gon work out
If you ain’t got honesty you ain’t got nothing
Which is one of the reasons Allah has made marriage obligatory
Because it’s easy for a bf and gf to lie to one another. But if it’s in wedlock... it’s much harder
Girls lie to me all the time
That btch Mirrah lied to me
That btch said she loved me
Dumb ass btch, fuckin white cracker
Them nutass freckles she got on her face
It looks like somebody took a black sharpie marker and polka dotted her face up lmmaaooo
And she’s fat!
I’m not gonna wank off tonight
I’m tired af, I just wanna go to sleep 😴
Shake ur fat ass u cunt whore slut btch
Ima fuck u till I can’t fuck u no more
That shyt nutted quick
I was not expecting that
It was a SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION
Cddffuupp 😂 where do I get it from?
👸🏻you think it’s funny? You’re immature af!
I’m laughing right? I think it’s hella funny
👸🏻smhh
Your fatass head. You shake that jawn again you gon spin the Earth out of it’s axis
JHENE AIKO IS PREGNANT BY BIG SEAN!!
It looks like it’s gonna rain
I never knew “swag” is a word
Swag: a curtain or piece of fabric fastened so as to hang in a drooping curve.
You learn something new everyday
Bebe Rexha - I’m gonna show you crazy
I love a crazy woman, cuz I’m crazy too
We can be crazy together
Defecation and urination are really the only two things that break your Wudu
Michelle Branch - Breathe
Michelle Branch sexy af with her black hair
I wanna marry her
I wouldn’t cheat on her tho
Why? Cuz that btch can SING!
Cigarettes are not good for you man
Sometimes in life you have to lie in order to get what you want, just a little white lie
Little white lie never hurt nobody
Nobody knows what goes on in this crazy head of mines
I love words and strategy games
I hate losing
This btch is a fukkin stripper Wallahi!
I like to get aroused before sex
I like taking it slow... feel me?
That’s sometimes, but most of the time I just wanna BUST A NUT! 🍼
That shyt nutted
‘‘Tis was an incredible nut
“The incredible album, what an incredible outcome. I grip the mic and then talk to the people like I'm Malcolm”
Logic - 44 Bars
Shyt hot!
It’s hard to come up with a word without any vowels
The vowels are: A,E,I,O,U and sometimes Y
I learned that in first grade, I can’t believe I still remember that
Thank you Ms. Fullard!
“CUZ SHE WEARS SHORT SKIRTS I WEAR T SHIRTS! 🎤”
👸🏻lmmaaooo
Just finished Asr, now I can die
👸🏻wtf is wrong with you?
I hate drinking soda, it’s bad for you
It gives you pimples n shyt
🙎🏾♂️would you rather smoke a cigarette or drink soda?
I’d rather fuck your fatass mom and get my dck sucked
That lady, I think her name was Ms. Marcella
She’s super nice
Me: “I gotta take a shit!”
Bill: “there should be a laundromat up the street, you can take a shit right there!”
cddffuupp
Idk wtf kinda drugs this ngga Kenny be taking. HE’S ALWAYS SLEEPING!
I want that same shyt bro!
Salah puts order into your life
I hope it’s not crack... or opioids
The drugs that Kenny be taking. I can’t fuck with that hard shit
This ngga Tyron is in love with his girl
HE’S GAY!
Allah’s Mercy is for everybody, even those that do not want it
I don’t delete shit, and I don’t take back nothing
Our iniquities and fallible nature makes us weak
You never really know the importance of reservation until you have a pack of cigarettes
Allah is Hakam
I need to get a fukkin laptop
I’m not gonna watch porn and wank off today cuz it’s Friday
I got a lot of makeup prayers and fasts to do
The Muslim should understand that no matter what sins he may commit, if he then repents and seeks forgiveness, Allah, may He be exalted, will forgive him no matter what his sins are.
We was having spaghetti and meatballs for dinner, I walk up to Bill I’m like “Let me get that meatball”
Bill: “how about sucking my meatball. Fukkin African!”
🤣
Chris’s birthday is tomorrow, remind me!
👸🏻okay
I hate smoking cigars
👸🏻Chris birthday is today
I already told him happy birthday, you late as shyt
👸🏻fuck you!
Bill better get df out my face about these cigarettes, this shyt is MINES!
I’ll sock da shit out that ngga
👸🏻wow, over some cigarettes tho?
Ima perfectionist
Perfection doesn’t exist tho
Except for God
When a man gets old his body and mind becomes feeble
Just like the day and night. The day is strong, the night is weak
The sun is strong, the moon is weak
For every Ying, there is a Yang
Asr complete!
Now I can die
I find it mind boggling how some people are not attracted to Islam
It’s a perfect, beautiful Religion
How could you not love it?
Girl I wish that I could copy and paste, your body and face
This btch is a Jinn... She be coming out of NOWHERE!
I’m not gonna watch porn and wank off tonight cuz today’s Saturday, I was born on a Saturday
I always forget, so I need constant reminders
Thinking about my baby Kehlani
Bae so fine!
I love Kehlani because she’s everything that I want in a girl... and more
Nuri Bracey was my best friend in elementary school
The shaytan doesn’t know what goes on in your head, only Allah knows
He’s just good at guessing
I NEED IT!!!!
👸🏻smfh
Once I pull my dck out there’s no going back
Wallahi if this btch win again ima be mad as shyt
“i” went missing!
That ngga DuL
AlhamDuLillah!
Y’all don’t even peep
If I don’t know something I go and find out the answer to it df!
From a credible source of course
When something becomes routine for somebody you start taking it for granted
This ngga Bill can’t even put on his fukkin sweatshirt
He be struggling n shyt like “GODDAMIT, FUCKIN COCK SUCKER!”
It’s still text, just changed to a different font
Computers speak in binary language
1’s and 0’s
But can all binary be converted?
🤔idk
Allah knows best!
Oh, my professor Ann Marie knows
She taught me HTML
“sighs” I miss going to school
I miss learning
They banned me from the school cuz I came there once I was high, I took my shirt off and started playing my music out loud
This ngga Charles Schnur was like “if I ever see you here again I’m going to notify the officials”
😂
Inshallah I’ll go back in the Spring tho
I just need to get that damn psychiatric evaluation from the hospital
I only need a small amount of sleep, food
I’m content with just a little bit
That goes for everything...
EXCEPT FOR WEEEEEEEEDD!
I require a large dosage amount!!
A tiny bit will not suffice
👸🏻smh... you think that’s cute?
Btch I ain’t trying be cute I’M TRYING GET HIGH!
👸🏻 don’t call me a btch
Df you gon do??
🙎🏾♂️chill bro, that’s my girl
Ngga fuck you and ur uglyass girl!
When I’m by myself is when I am most creative
This ngga Bill funny as shyt he said: “blow me... a little kiss”
😂
Naw Dave said that, Dave got kicked out
Bob’s always in the dumpster
🙎🏾♂️ngga who df are all these people?
🙎🏾♂️who df is “Bob” ?
BOB IS MY BEST FRIEND!!
Jk.. God is my best friend
But God... is not here
You gotta peep... He has knowledge of the world and everything in it
But He’s not with us
Allah does not coexist with us
We’re talking about the Creator!
Why would He be here with us?
That’s dumb as shyt
We don’t put God on the pedestal that He deserves to be put on
And that’s fucked up
I was trying tell this ngga Chris, he was like: “How did this building get here?... we made this shyt!”
I was like: “BROOO... We don’t make anything!”
Yes, we may have built it, but Who created it??
“GOD!”
We build... Allah creates!
That’s why at the back of every iPhone it says “Manufactured by Apple”
It didn’t say “MADE”
It only manufactured it
There’s a difference bro
Deep down inside we all know that God exists
And He is One
I be trying tell nggas
But they don’t peep, they have a limited understanding
You have to “visualize the bigger picture”
OPEN UR FUKKIN MIND
USE THE SENSE THAT GOD GAVE YOU
I gotta take a shit...
I was trying to take a shit earlier but I wanted to smoke some weed
“Consume illegal marijuana”
Is marijuana still illegal? 🤔
This ngga Tyron said it’s “decriminalized” but idk wtf that means
🙎🏾♂️:”Decriminalized” cease to treat (something) as illegal or as a criminal offense.
So can you fukkin get arrested for smoking that shyt or not??
Cuz I ain’t tryin go back to jail bruh!!
They put me on probation n shyt
I ain’t even do shit bruh. THAT BTCH HIT ME!!
She started it!
This btch was once giving me head she threw up on my dck n shyt 🤮
👸🏻Eeewwwww!
I be trying tell btches, don’t fukkin deep throat if you don’t know how to
I had to teach her n shyt
I was like “stick your tongue 👅out bae...”
“Now put it in your mouth...”
“That’s it...”
-rubs her hair
Soon as I get some money I’m buying a fuckin laptop Wallahi!
Nggas always make promises when they broke, about shit that they gon do when they get money. Then when that day come around... it never happens!
Last month I was like “soon as I get some money ima start paying this damn student loan”
Then when check day come around: spend that shyt on weed and McDonalds 🤤
I eat a lot... but I don’t gain weight
I gotta high metobaliam
I be cracking myself df up
I be trying make this ngga Allah laugh...
But this ngga DO NOT BE LAUGHING!
But frfr... Don’t shit be funny!!
Look around you... The world is a sad and dark place
But every cloud has a silver lining
That’s what George’s dad told him when that bird btch broke his heart
He was like “Cheer up George... Every dark cloud has a silver lining”
That bird btch did my ngga George dirty.
It’s cool George... Plenty more birds in the sky
Plenty fishes in the sea
I want a octopus for a pet!
Sike naw... I can’t have pets
Cuz how df I’m pose to take care of a damn pet, when I can’t even take care of myself?
If I get a octopus ima KILL IT AND COOK IT
then eat that shit
👸🏻eeewww
It tastes like chicken!
🙎🏾♂️Lamb tastes like chicken bro
“Mary had a little lamb” 🎤
What’s that fukkin word???
Allah ______ Musa (AS)
Allah admonished Musa
For not ascribing all knowledge to Him
This ngga Mark weird as shyt bruh
Dff is he doing??
Fukkin weirdo
I got two cigarettes left, I’ma die bruh
Idk how I’ma manage
👸🏻you’ll be aight
Aww don’t resign bae...
You can do it!
I BELIEVE IN YOU!!
I can’t wait till my manz come home!
We gon be fuckin ALL THESE BTCHES!
Nggas always make promises about what they gon do when they come out of jail, then when they get out it never gets done!
I was like that in jail too...
I was like: “man when I get out of jail I’m gon stop smoking weed and turn my whole life around!!”
I’M GONNA BE A BETTER PERSON!
Soon as I get out: first thing I did was buy some weed, now I’m smoking cigarettes n shyt
I’m in a worse predicament than I was before, at first I was only smoking weed, now I’m smoking cigarettes
Weed is better than cigarettes
Cuz cigarettes kill millions of people every year, whereas weed has never killed a single soul
Weed is a gateway drug
Nonetheless, they’re both drugs
And are HARAAM!
I wish this ngga Bill would SDFUP!!
I’m trying write my damn story damn SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!
Just SHUT IT!!
“I’m paid too much, you nggas play too much... I just let the swag talk I don’t say too much”
My ngga Tvmmy said that a while ago
I wonder if that ngga still alive 🤔
He always used to be getting into fights n shyt
I tried to tell that ngga like “yo bro you gotta chill”
I remember me and Byron robbed that Papi store and ran straight to his house 😂
That ngga Jason said “WEEEIINEERR” cddffuupp
Once I pull my dck out there’s no going back
ALL HOPE IS LOST!!
This ngga Bill funny as shyt lmmaaooo
He said “I WOULD RAM IT RIGHT UP HER ASS!”
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