I stared at him as he stared at me. I didn’t quite understand the question he was asking me. “Does Christy make me happy?” I thought for a moment. Christy was definitely attractive to me, she had a pretty laugh and smile, and she smelled nice, and when I was talking to her earlier on the phone it felt like the whole world stopped and it was just me and her. She gave me butterflies in my stomach and I feel comfortable when I talk to her. If that’s what happiness is then yeah, I guess she does make me happy.

“Yes, she does.” I replied to my father while my head was still sunken. I couldn’t muster up enough courage to look at him in the eye. For some reason I felt like I disappointed him or let him down some way. I had a lot of respect for my father, and I know that he had a lot of respect for me, and although we never really talked about girlfriends or that topic before, I felt like he would’ve expected more of me, that maybe I was too young or inexperienced to get involved in things like this.

My father then rubbed my head with his right palm, and he lifted my chin up so I could face him. He looked at me and smiled. “I’m happy for you Jason.” He said while smiling.

“If this young girl makes you happy, then I’m happy.” He said while still smiling.

He then looked at me with a straight face, the smile that was there was now gone. It was then replaced with a serious expression.

“Have you ever been with a girl before her?” He asked me.

“No.” I answered truthfully.

“Do you really like this young girl and want to be with her?” He asked me.

“Yes.” I answered him truthfully again.

“Then you’re going to have to marry her.” He said, as he got up and moved back to the chair in which he was seated.

WHAT? I thought to myself. ME… MARRY CHRISTY?

“Oldhead I can’t marry her.” I said while smiling, just the thought of marriage gave me a funny feeling inside and made me laugh.

“I’m still in school; I’m still just a kid.” I added.

My father opened up his water bottle and took another swig of the water. When he finished he wiped his mouth and put the bottle cap back on the water bottle and he looked at me with a straight face. I knew that my father was serious now. Whatever he was about to say I have to listen very attentively and pay very close attention.

My father moved his bowl of rice to the side and he looked at me with a blank expression on his face.

“Jason, you know you are my son?” He said.

“Yes.” I answered him.

“And I want you to be happy; your happiness is my happiness. The day that you was born was the happiest day of my life. Raising you hasn’t been easy, I haven’t been the best father to you my son, I’ve made a few mistakes in the way that I raised you up.” He said, as his eyes began to turn a reddish brown color.

I began to cringe in my stomach, I hope he wasn’t about to start crying. Even though my father was the manliest man that I have ever met, he can sure cry. The last time that I saw him break down and start bawling was when my little sister Cynthia was admitted in the hospital about two years ago, she has sickle cell and during the winter time her bones really troubles her. That winter about two years ago during the winter time it was really bad, it would snow like every other day. The temperature didn’t go past 25 degrees for like 2 months straight. Cynthia was in the hospital and we all was there with her, me, my father and my mother. At that time Cynthia was maybe 10 or younger, because she was about 10 now, and this happened about two years ago, so she had to be maybe like 7 or 8 years of age. My sister was laying in the hospital bed crying her eyes out, saying “MY BONES HURT MY BONES HURT!” She was really in a lot of pain. The doctors and nurses couldn’t really do much for her, except give her pain medications and make her comfortable; they said that this is just going to be something that will have to pass. My father was a complete wreck, I have never seen him like that before. He was crying even more than my sister, and she was the one with the illness. My father bought his praying mat from home and he prayed in my sister’s hospital room for hours on end. He even began to speak in some weird African language that I couldn’t understand. It sounded like he was just talking gibberish or nonsense to me. Even my mother wasn’t crying as much as he was. She was definitely crying, but idk whether or not she was crying because my sister was in pain, or because of the sorrowful sight of my father. She would even have to get up at times from the chair in which she was seated at in the hospital room, and she would have to go to the floor where my father was laying down praying, and she would spread a blanket over his body, so that he would not get cold. I was the only one in the family who was not crying. For some reason, I just knew, everything was going to be okay, there’s no need to shed tears when you know for a fact that everything is going to work out fine.

“But I want you to know something, and I want you to trust me.” He said.

“I would never tell you to do something that is bad for you, or lie to you or mislead you in any way. And I know that the way that I was raised in Liberia is different from the way that you are being raised here in America.” He said, as his gaze was fixed onto me.

My gaze was fixed on my father as his gaze was fixed on me. “Yes.” I said.

“I know that already oldhead.” I added, as I stared back at his reddish eyes.

My father folded his hands and placed it on top of the table.

“Jason, please trust me.” My father said as he looked at me directly in the eyes.

“If you really like this girl, and if you want to be with her, you will marry her.” He said as his gaze was fixed on me.

I stared at my father back. I wanted to tell him that there was no way that I could marry Christy, I was only thirteen, I didn’t know anything about marriage or being a husband, I was far too young. But for some reason, the look on my father’s face… The look that he had as he starred at me without blinking. My father has never lied to me before, he only wants the best for me. Everything that he was telling me was true, I just had a feeling in my heart, I couldn’t explain it… but I trusted him.

I stared at him and said in a low voice, “okay, I will.”

I didn’t know what I was saying, or how I was going to go about marrying Christy, but I knew I had to do it. For my father’s sake, I had to do it, I didn’t want to let him down.

I smiled at him and said “Okay, I will oldhead, just tell me what I need to do.”

My father looked at me and smiled back, he then reached over and rubbed my head with his right palm again.

“When is the next time that you are going to talk to this girl or see her?” My father asked me.

“Tomorrow, after school, I’m going to go to her house.” I told him. Whatever that my father wanted to know I was prepared to tell him, I trusted him completely, if I can’t be honest with him then I can’t be honest with anybody.

My father placed his hands on top of mines and looked at me with the same serious expression on his face that he had when he walked over to me and kneeled down.

“Listen to me Jason.” He said.

I leaned over to ensure him and let him know that he had my full attention.

My father stared at me and didn’t say anything. I can tell he was contemplating what to say. My father always chose his words carefully. He had a really bad stammering problem. But it has gotten better over the years. It was really bad when I was in elementary school. I remember at times when he would go to my school to talk to my teachers for parent teacher conference. His stammering would really get in the way of him talking to my teachers. He really had a hard time talking to my biology teacher, because a lot had to be discussed. The meeting will normally take about 15-20 minutes, but with my father, due to his heavy stammering, it would stretch out to 35-40 minutes. I was glad that I didn’t pick up that gene from him, I picked up all his other traits and characteristics, except for that one, and for that I was glad.

My father looked at me and he finally said “Jason, when you go to her house tomorrow, do not have sex with her.”

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