Chapter 10

page 62

She didn’t respond or say anything as I hugged her. She only kept sobbing silently. I could feel her tears soaking up my shoulders. I didn’t care. I allowed her to soak up my shoulder as I hugged and held her and slowly rubbed her back.

After a few seconds I drew back from her so that we both could stare at each other in the face, Christy’s eyes were still red, her bottom lip was still quivering. The tears were not falling down from her eyes no more. I was glad, I don’t like seeing tears or people crying. I started thinking back when Cynthia was admitted in the hospital, and my father was there crying. The sounds of him balling were still fresh in my head.

I smiled as I politely looked at her in her face. I wanted her to smile back at me, I love to see her smile way more than I love seeing her cry.

“Hey… come on, turn that frown upside down champ.” I said to her as I playfully gave her pretend fist to the chin.

She smiled a little bit, then she turned her gaze away from me, then after a split second she turned her head to face me again.

“Jason… I love you too… but do you know what you just asked me?” She said to me as she looked me in the eyes without blinking.

I stared back at her for a few seconds, I knew what she was asking me but I didn’t know how to respond.

“Jason, you’re only 13, I’m only 13, how can we possibly get married right now?” Christy asked me with a straight face.

I dropped my gaze slowly and stopped looking at her.

“I… don’t know.” Honestly I said to her. Then I quickly lifted up my gaze and looked at her. I then grabbed her hands tight and covered it with my hands.

“Christy, I don’t know. All I know is that it’s you that I want to be with, you’re the girl that I want, I want us to be together forever and ever, I want you to make me happy and I want for you to be happy.” I said to her as I stared at her dead in the face.

Her lips began to quiver again as she looked at me. Her eyes instantly became red and the tears started to form in them again.

I knew that she was getting ready to cry, I didn’t want that. I didn’t want to see her crying because of me. I knew that she was confused and she didn’t know how to respond to me. I don’t like seeing her in that state.

I quickly got up and knelt down and placed my hands on her thighs. Then I wrapped my arms around her stomach, and buried my face in her shirt.

“Please don’t cry Christy, please don’t be sad. I know that this is a lot and it’s hard on you right now, but I promise we can find a way to make this work, I don’t know how or what we can do, but I know it’s possible and we can make it work someway somehow.” I said to her as my arms wrapped around her stomach.

She didn’t say anything and I couldn’t hear her crying, I was glad for that. But she didn’t respond or say anything to me, after a few seconds I stopped hugging her stomach and slowly looked up at her face, I could see that her bottom lip was shaking tremendously, she was holding back tears from falling, that’s why I couldn’t hear any sobbing noises that she was making.

“What’s wrong?” I asked her as I reached up to her face and caressed her cheek.

She looked at me; she didn’t say anything for a few seconds. Then as some tears fell down her cheeks she quietly said, “Yes, Jason, I want to marry you.”

A big smile spread across my face. I could not believe what I had just heard. Christy agreed! I quickly got up from the floor and fell on her. I embraced her completely and began kissing her head. I pushed her head against my chest and squeezed tightly as I continued smiling. I could not believe what I had just heard. I suddenly felt like a big weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I now felt complete, I felt whole. I don’t know what it was or how to explain it, but it felt right, it felt like this is what I wanted my whole life and I finally got it. Before I knew it, a tear started to trickle down my cheek. As it fell on top of Christy’s head and I realized that I was crying I quickly let go of her head and stopped hugging her and I began rub my eyes and wipe the tears that was falling down. I have never cried before, except for when I was in 4th grade and I fell from the monkey bars during recess and broke my arm, and I had to go to the hospital to get a cast put on my right arm. The excessive pain that I felt as the doctor was putting the cast on me caused me to weep heavily. But back then and now is different, back then I was crying because of the pain that I was feeling, now I was crying because… Christy had told me yes, and I was happy.

Christy looked up at me and saw me wiping my eyes from any tear that was falling. She didn’t say anything; she sat there and looked up at me as I was rubbing my eyes with my forearm.

As soon as she saw this she immediately got up from the couch. She took my hand and she began to walk really fast out of the living room and up the stairs. I didn’t know where she was taking me, but I followed her. I was willing to go anywhere with her at that moment.

As we were going up the stairs I got a quick look of Christy’s eyes. She had the same look that Violet had earlier in room 4325. I knew exactly where we were going and what she wanted to do. Any other time I would’ve done it. I would’ve been the one to take her hands and lead her upstairs. But not today, I remembered what my father had told me, and I had promised him last night that I wasn’t going to do this, and I couldn’t break the trust that I had given him. Even though my father wasn’t there, I knew that little small angel figure was still there watching, and for some reason when I looked at it I was reminded of my father.

I stopped following her and let go of her hand when we walked in the hallway.

“Wait… Christy.” I said to her as I slowly let go of her hands and stopped walking.

Christy turned around and looked back at me. “What’s wrong…?” She said to me in a low and anxious voice.

I knew that she really wanted to do this. And I also wanted to. I was still extremely stimulated from my experience earlier with Violet, but I didn’t want to let my father down. I promised him, and I didn’t want to go back on my word.

Christy just agreed to marry me, and I knew that she wanted to do this really bad, but I didn’t want to. I had to find a way to tell her in a way that she would be able to understand, but I didn’t know the right words to use or say to her.

I didn’t answer her question; I just stood there and slowly dropped my head. As my head dropped to look down at the floor, I saw the miniature angel looking figure. It was looking at me… and it was smiling. I didn’t know why it was smiling, and I wasn’t even high anymore, my high died and went away when I was running over to her house, so idk how I could even see it.

I ignored the sight I was seeing, and I began to slowly trudge towards Christy. She stood there and she watched me as I began to approach her.

Christy didn’t say anything. I came to her and placed my hand on her cheek and began to rub it. I looked at her deeply in the eyes.

“Christy, you’re the most beautiful girl that I have ever seen.” I said to her.

I didn’t know how I was going to tell her or what I was going to say, but I just knew that I had to be honest with her.

She took my hand in hers and began smiling, “Come with me to my room then Jason.” Christy said to me.

Her face was shining, her eyes sparkled and fire shot through them.

“I…” my words stopped in mid-sentence. There was something about the look that she had in her eyes that was making it hard for me to say what I knew I had to. I love Christy, I love her laugh, I love her smile, I love her body, I love everything about her, and even though she is now my wife, I love my father way more.

I wrapped my arms around her and gently pecked her on her cheek. Then I took her hand and began to walk with her back downstairs. Christy didn’t say anything, she slowly followed behind me.

As we got downstairs I slowly led her to the couch and we sat down. She placed her hand on my lap and looked at me very curiously. Then she turned her head sideways a bit, then she reached her hand over and began to rub my head.

“Jason, what’s wrong? You don’t want me?” Christy said to me as she began to turn my head so that our eyes could meet.

As I stared deeply into her eyes I immediately knew the way that she was feeling. This is exactly what I wanted not to happen.

Christy believed that just because I didn’t want to sleep or have sex with her then that meant that I found her unattractive or didn’t want to be with her. That’s the worst feeling that a girl can ever get. Every girl wants to be beautiful, and they want to feel beautiful, and they want everybody else to think that they’re beautiful. If you make them feel otherwise then that is the biggest turn off for them. I had to be straight up with her.

I grabbed her hands and held it in mines and looked at her directly in her eyes.

“Christy, no, it’s not that, I don’t want you to ever think that way or feel like that.” I said to her as I continued to look at her in her eyes without blinking.

“I promised my father yesterday, and he was the one who adviced me to marry you if I really like you. And I promised him that I would not have sex with you, and also Christy I really love you, you’re the girl of my dreams, I don’t want our relationship to be based solely off sex, I want it to be more than that, I want to have more with you. You’re the prettiest girl that I’ve ever seen, and at any other day I would’ve followed you to your room, but now you’re my wife, and I want to be with you forever. I don’t want 70 years from now when we tell our grand-children that on the same day that you agreed to be my wife we had sex. We have our whole lives ahead of us, there’s going to be plenty of chances and opportunities for us to have sex, but right now I just want to be with you.” I honestly said to her.

Christy looked at me and her eyes began to turn red, I thought that she was going to break down crying again.

“Okay.” She quietly said to me after a few seconds.

She then reached over with her hand and rubbed my face.

“Are you real?” She asked me.

I started to smile and turned my head sideways, then I reached over with my hands and placed it on her chest playfully.

Are these real?” I asked her while gripping her chest.

Christy laughed out loud and then she moved my hand to the side.

“OMG PERVERT!” She said to me while laughing,

I laughed with her. Then we became silent and our eyes met. We stared at each other for a few seconds. She looked so beautiful while she was sitting down with her all black T-Shirt, I don’t think she knows of the type of effect that she has on me. I thought about kissing her and going all the way with her right there on the downstairs couch, then I quickly turned my head to the left side from looking at her in the eyes and quickly dismissed the thought.

“I’m hungry.” I said to her as I gently placed my hand on my stomach.

Christy then got up and started to head for the kitchen.

“I didn’t get a chance to cook for you yet, you didn’t eat at school?” She asked me as she was walking to the kitchen.

“Naw, I didn’t get a chance to.” I said to her.

“How come?” She asked me.

Violet’s face appeared in my head.

“I wanted to rush to come over to see you.” I said to her.

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